ADVICE NEEDED: “This marriage is HELL”- Nigerian lady writes

By Obi Odenigbo

coupleNot all marriages are rosy or as smooth as they appear. And it makes the neutral mind wonder why the rate of marriages- especially in Africa- keeps rising and how more young girls are quick to jump into it and enjoy that status symbol which African society accords married couples.

The writer asked that her information be kept anonymous but welcomed comments- or “advice” as she put it. She wrote:

“I am a mother of three. I married my husband at the age of 18 against the will of my family because he already had three wives. He disvirgined me at 16, sponsored me through NCE and promised to make me very comfortable if I marry him. I got married to him because he has money. I am seeing hell in the marriage now because the wives and I all live in the same house. He sleeps with younger girls, even inside our house. He does not pay attention to me and he does not even give me money – the reason I married him, even though he is a rich man that works in shell. I told him that he should get a house for me, so that my children and I can live there, but he refused. This marriage is killing me slowly, he abuses me physically and verbally and I am really tired of him. I even consulted a pastor who said that he has been locked up in the bottle by his senior wife and that I would never enjoy he marriage. I want to stay for the sake of my children, but then I am not happy. He also threatened to end the marriage if I get another apartment for myself. I am really confused; I don’t know what to do. Please, your advices are welcome”

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